3 Days

I've been gone almost a week. I left last Tuesday for Houston at 3pm. Was supposed to leave houston at 4pm. We didn't end up leaving until 9pm. Team MOAT calls that the Shaun factor. We drive, we rest, we eat. For almost a day it was. We arrived at West Virginia late Wednesday night. We sleep for about 5 hours, and this is when the fun begins.
We have to be checked in by noon. So we get stuff ready. Getting stuff ready for something you don't know what you're going to do with is very difficult. So I made sure I had plenty of dry socks. A couple of shirts, shoes, and a few shorts.
We show up, get the maps, and checked in. Of course we are the last team to do this. And of course everything we need is in the RV, not the van. We have about an hour to get things ready before a race meeting. The maps are 1:52000, instead of what we're used to, 1:24000. So things were a bit different!

So race start, is around 6 oclock. We worked all day getting ready, franticly, and we're prepared for the upcoming days of racing.

The start is a white water raft. Where they lottery drew who was going into which boat. Most boats had 2 teams of 4(8 people max). Our boat had our 4 person team, 1 two person team, and two soloists. Then, one person from each team had to do a short run, and swim to the raft. Lucky us. Instead of waiting on 2 people, we waited on 4! We started last, but made a pass in whitewater to come out in 3rd of our wave of boats.
A short paddle in a canoe.
Then almost nighttime, we start portaging. True to MOATs tradition, we started off bad. Went the wrong way, with other teams, and ended up losing 30 minutes easy. A couple miles of this and we were done, and off to a long nighttime ride on the bike.
We get to some points easy, then hit CP 5. We look, and again, with another team, we thought we just screwed up. So we went off solo, and tried to find out what went wrong. This is at 11pm. We go back, look around, look for roads, and even backtrack on a highway. We figure that we were right, just didn't go far enough. We go deep into the woods. Now a couple of hours later, all the teams are buzzing around here and there. It seems they can't find it either. Dave and I walk....I mean, crawl, hop, duck and maneuver to the creek. It's not there. It's been 4 hours, and we know we're in the right spot....so we bail...it's not there.
We come to TA and find some teams found it, and Dave has some words with Ronny, the race director. Later we find out that it WAS wrong....but this is after we think the race is lost(as some teams got it, and we WASTED 4 hours)
We do some walking, and hit the next day with a rappell. It was high....very high. I can't repeat the words that came out of my mouth, but everyone around me seemed to laugh at me....either my demeanor, or just the brown stuff in my pants.
The next day or so is all jumbled together....we did some more riding, walked some more, and did an O course the next night. MOAT trekked so gosh darn fast, that I literitly sucked at walking by the end. I'd either have to run, or slowly walk.
We took a nap here or there, when we would all get zombied, and hit a long 20min nap that second night, just enough time for daylight to wake us and find a point that would've been harder to find at night.
Then we get to the next bike leg. It's supposed to be 85 miles, but I'm VERY baddly chafed, and hurting. My legs feel good, but to ride just sucks. We decide to make the first CP, then decide what we will do(call it short and go to the finish).
Leslie and Dave start to argue, and I'm just in a tight spot. As Leslie wanted to get the points, and Dave was supporting me and going to call it a day.
We get to the point, and head home, tension was high, but we finally go to the last trail(3miles). Almost done! Well, except every tree on that peice of land was fallen over, and all the thorn bushes grew up. And we could find NO trail. So we walked, and walked, and rode the bike here or there. A couple of hours later, we get to TA!
We find out we're in the lead now(but we skipped CP's), and Leslie was glad, as the lead team was 8 hours ahead, and still wasn't in TA!!!
The last leg, the paddle/trek-nav, was easy. We paddled to the first point, climbed the mountain, got the CP, then trekked over to the next mountain, and found a CP, then down and up another mountain to find a 3rd CP. It just took 2 hours to find these....and we had 3 more. It was close to our third night, and wanted to get as much daylight as possible.
We noticed some canoes parked next to ours, and figured the lead team was a few hours behind.
We paddle on. Find the next CP, and its in a water fall. I'm leading the group, and a few showers graced us. Luckily the rocks were like ice climbing up, and after reaching the top of the first shallow waterfall only 13 feet long at around a 70 degree slope, I slip. The small ridges made my booty go bump bump bump and I land in fridgid water. It hurt. So I ask Dave, since we're not 'racing' anymore and just out training if it's worth getting hurt over....he said, lets get this and we can paddle on. Whatever you want Dr Dave!
So Shaun leads now, taking a different approach-the side of the cliffs. Hes about 25 feet up in the dirt, and is almost to the rocks. Then he slips. A 5 foot slide on the steep ground, then he has a 20 foot freefall to the rock bottom.
MOAT gasps, and luckily he's fine. Dave says "Shaun, what to you say we skip this one, it's not worth getting hurt!"
So we paddle on. And on. Sleep starts creeping in. So we pull up boat to boat and chat with each other, and Dave is cracking me up! This was a good moment as we were relaxing and racing, having a good time.
We finish the paddle right before dark, and I find out that we have a 10mile trek ahead, finishing it off with a river crossing. THATS IT!!! i'm almost done.
10 miles later, I get to the river, cross it. Then find out I have 4 miles of uphill to get to the finish. Mentally, I'm blown. I should be done by now. I sulk and creep up the hill. 1hour and 30minutes later, I'm at the lodge, the last CP. We did it.
While waiting on badass rookie support crew, Jeff, Leslie, Dave and Shaun Almighty took a nap in the hall. We got picked up, took a shower, ate, talked a bit, and hit the hay for a short night....waking up early and starting driving home.
We were the first to finish, but because we didn't hit all the CP's, we shouldn't win this race....we COULD"VE won this race, and was definitly the fastest team out there, as our bike/trek/paddle was above the other teams....but one 4 hour mistake that wasn't our fault made it for a good training day....days.

E FIX

Carlos had a loss in the family, sorry to say. I was going to run support for MOAT/Mannatech during this race. Since the team wasn't complete, it is up to me to fill in. This is what matters most. And as Mickey would say< "This is your whole life!"

http://www.checkpointtracker.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=app.showDashboard&eventID=135

Go there, and follow us from Thursday/Friday until Sunday. 3 solid days of racing non-stop. Leave us, MOAT/Mannatech, messages and keep up with the standings. I'll be out the next week traveling and of course racing, check for a lengthy blog when I return.

I'm SUPER stoked about being able to do this. I am concerned about a couple of things.
1) A rappell....I'm very affraid of heights....but WWDBD?
2)An icewater swim.....I guess more than heights, I'm affraid of permanitly freezing my berries off
3)How many DQ's will be on the course? I mean, 3 days....I'll probably need to eat. I might treat myself to a blizzard no matter what that sunday night.
4)OMG, I'm racing with MOAT.....I hope...I pray....I dream that I can keep up with them.

Custom bikes are the latest rage. What you wanna WOOO WOOOOO?

The long weekend

After Ouachita challenge, I was sick. I drank less than 4 bottles, and maybe one honeystinger gel during the entire 4 hour race. I ate a good breakfast, but didn't eat much after. I felt like crap. No, I felt like smelly, gooey, fresh, asstastic crap. I took most of the week to recover, and did no kind of excersize. I ran on Thursday(hint hint, MARK!), and did some easy spin classes on Friday. I was feeling better after the run, and almost 100 percent on Fridays spin classes.
Then my weekend started. I got off work, and had a softball game, the season opener.
It was rad, we won, and I didn't have to use my athletic ability too much, as I had a race the next day. We drove 4 hours that night to get to Daves lakehouse, and while taking the long detour in north Austin, after making GREAT time, we were delighted to see 10 minutes of fireworks straight ahead of us on a flat and straight road. Then we were abruptly stopped due to an opening day game for a minor league team.
Fast night, wake up early, hardly any sleep, and jumped in Daves big van. We got to the race on Shaun time, and got things ready. I raced with speedy Jason. Dave and Leslie did their thing.
It went like this: 3mile run and easy nav/ 5 mile paddle and 1 mile run with boat and hole in boat/ 10 mile bike with around 1 mile run or hike section cyclocross style/ 7 mile run with hard nav and another 1 mile run with zig zagging around cactus and sharp things, and a 200 meter swim.
Leslie was killing it the first run, and forced me to man up and not get dropped by her.
Jason was Jason on the paddle, with the Shaun coming out in me to tell him how to get it together in the boat. We Titanic'd the Futura on a tree limb that wasn't seen above the water, and hit a foot long gouge in the hull. Luckily it was after we got all the points, and we were at a point were we could portage.
The bike was rough. Jason hit a tree again, and was trying so hard to go fast. I took it easy and it felt like a walk in the park, sans the park. Getting lost was easy to do, and seemed to happen the more I got to the front.
The last run/nav was on me, I took the map, and we had a 2 minute lead over Dave and Leslie. I didn't even use a compass, and hit every point. I must say, I get by with a little help from my friends. Thanks Marty the 5th beatle for walking the ropes with me. The last point was accross this big cove. And it was walking at least another 1km in some bushy, cactus filled, vine encrusted region that would surely take about 12 minutes to navigate. OR cut accross and swim 200 meters , about 5 minutes and a good break from running, hoping, dodging, dipping, and flailing around.
We ate cake, thanks to TooCoolRacing and Robin and Art for a great series.

Then came Sundays PSE mtb race at Reimers ranch. It was flat, with lots of rock sections. I had envisioned myself doing something different and going HARD. With a new crankset via Dave's shop, I was able to keep the big ring the whole race! SWEET!
We line up, about 20 of us. The gun goes, and I'm 8th. A guy stops right before the Single Track, and I'm 7th. And finally warmed up.
Fawley flats, so I'm like 6th. Then I pass Noel "the monster"Reuter and I'm into 5th. Well 4th really. Then Matt"flash"Gordon passes me, and I'm in 5th.
The train is made, RayHall, BillyKurtz,ScottHenry,ME,MattGordon.
I try to get the HARD into the race, and try to pass Scott, and we talk about having to call out a pass. Damn, last time I did that at Hville, I got screwed. Whatever, I'm sorry.
The race goes with the first lap settling in. I can do this all day. Even though I screw up every technical section and cyclocross a few others. Lap two is the same, just faster, I might be able to do this all day with some energy. I'm hanging in there. I eat a gel, and drink some water....I dont' want to feel sick again(which BTW, I think was a virus, not just being dehydrated)
The end of lap 2, Billy gets on the front, and is drilling it. I'm still comfortable, but SHOULD've moved up past Scott here. Mistake one.
Through the technical section, Billy and Ray get a 10 second gap on the rest. Scott is on the front trying to bring it back. I take a feed, and get another Honeystinger gel in the mouth. And here is when Matt goes around us. I feel 15 seconds at this point is makeupable. And continue with getting the gel down with water, so I can stop breathing out of my defunct nose. Mistake two.
The gap soon opens up to around 30 seconds, and I'm stuck in Single Track. A short climb later, and I get around Scott. I start going faster. Pushing nice gears, and a straight chainline. I'm feeling good....but my mistakes have gotten out of control.
I ride the rest, feeling faster and stronger than I should. Ended up 4th. If that gap was 10 seconds, even 20 seconds, I could've closed it. out of sight, out of mind got me here, they just got to far away.....luckyyyyy.
Oh, the superfly is cracked during these races, on the downtube....Noel style

FOR SALE: 2008 58cm Cannondale Six13 Frame
If you need the parts and wheels too, I think we can work it out.

I'm needing money to start a new sport. Rollerblading. I have the outfit. The helmet. I just need some skates, and my old hockey skates I used when I was 12 years old mysteriously disappeared over the years. And the cheap pair Jason got me at wal-mart last year was disingrated in the first ride. Ride? That doesn't sound right. The first roll? The first skate? Or would it be skute?

I finally ran this morning. 8 miles. 1 hour. I think I ran around 8mph average.
I haven't ridden all week, but I'll have to spin classes on Friday that will get taken care of direct.
I'll also get in a good full body workout in an adventure race at Inks lake on Saturday.
Then a go fast motorpacing session, sans motor, at Reimers Ranch. I hope my bike holds up to the poundings I put on it....poor Noel is too strong for his bike, and split it down the middle! Some monsters just aren't cut out for riding.
Lets see if Jason finishes this race in 1st. I'm saying his legs will. Now if his bike holds up, and he stays upright.

http://www.ouachitachallenge.com/course/images/big_racemap08.jpg

Did the Ouachita Challenge, 60 mile loop. Well, it was condensed to a 54 mile route, due to all the rain and flooding of a river.
Dave, Carlos, Shaun, Leslie, Patti, and Bonnie(and myself) all competed in the 60 mile race, and Magan did the duty of feeding us all.

It started off on some miles of road. Easy. I sat top 5 most of the time, and on the first steep gravel road, I got a gap by just riding my pace. I knew I had legs then, so I just needed to not screw it up by doing something stupid.
So, the first thing I do is almost get in a wreck, with the Trek guy who braked to get in the trail that nobody knew was there. I literitly T-Boned this guy because of a late brake action from about 30 guys in the lead.
Dave was up there, riding strong. And I went from 5th, passed Dave, to 4th. Guy had a mechanical and moved to 3rd. Then the guy leading missed a shift, and broke a spoke, which let Trek guy get a 20 second gap, and held me behind him. A couple of miles later, he pulled over because something wasn't working right, and I moved into 2nd.
2 guys were on my tail and I bridged up to the leader.
Perfect timing as we hit the bottom, and crossed a bunch of creeks, and was some flat trails. I noticed I was carrying much more speed with the Superfly that the Trek guys Fuel, and did a quick pass to take 1st. Around 15miles in I'd guess. I quickly built up a 20 second lead. Then had a PePe, and stopped to tighten my front skewer. But to my surprise, nobody caught me. So my lead was around 10 seconds(I'm estimating these, could be more, could be less). I pass a few 80 mile guys, and do some passes in the woods. I soon lose sight of the chase group.
Feed station number 1. I'm heading right, and Magan thankfully gets me to go left, for a quick feed and a 6 mile road section. 44X11 in a TT position and I make quick work like Fabian Cancellara, and can't even see the 5 man group behind(which Dave was apart of). So I knew I had a good lead.
I hit more trails, and was feeling good. Yada Yada Yada.
Then the back section, a LOOOOONG climb and some rocky sections, and I was hurting, walking, and zoning out. Did a big switchback loop, and I was almost at the top, and heard two guys about 300 meters down the mountain hitting some of the rock gardens. It was probably around 4-5minute lead as they'd have to not only climb that 300 meters, but also ride the loop around and ride the technical parts too. I got unzoned, and hit some gas.
I had no clue where I was and it felt like 50 miles already, so I kept saying right over this hill....ok, right over 'this' hill......no, well then it has to be right over THIS hill!
Then I saw a photographer, on foot. So I was kinda close. Then I hit feed station 4. Magan tells me I have about 15 miles to go, and I take my last water bottle. I ride the next section with some old Wink style flava. I shread the downhills, and used some skills that I used to throw out.
FINALLY, I pop out of the single track. Get my last zip tie tag. And the guy says, go down the gravel road for about 6 miles. And you'll stay to the left, and take the left on the highway, which will take you to the finish.

Now, if you check out the map this is the furthest left on the top, heading back towards the start finish. I'm about where the little biker dude is. So I ride. Thinking, 6 miles? Then a few more miles on pave? No worries, just ride, and you'll be there.
Well, check the map out again, and after the biker dude, you can see a split in the road, where the blue/yellow dots go right and another road goes left. I take the left. All the way to Brushy road, the next right. And then to a course marshel close to the red lightening bolt(to stop people from going down this way and cutting it short). He tells me which way would get me to the finish fastest, and I turn around.
I'm almost at Brushy creek road, and see Dave and another dude going the route I took. I tell them to turn around and we ride that Brushy Rd(which isn't part of the course) in the headwind all the way to the finish.
We came up from behind the finish and had to do a U Turn to 'finish'.
I got 3rd. Dave 4th. Carlos did good and did it in under 6 hours. Shaun flatted, and still finished with NO training. Leslie got 2nd. Patti got 3rd. Bonnie was still out when we left.

Now the guys who got 1st and 2nd, knew that I was 5 minutes up, and was asking what they'd get for 2nd/3rd. But were informed that they had won/2nd. The organizers knew something went wrong. We discussed and for a 2nd time this year was awarded a "co-1st". I know I could've won, and some guy asked Magan: "if he was lost why didn't he just turn around"....well DUH, I didn't know I went the wrong way! I guess next time I'll just stop at a point like that, wait on the next guys, and then outsprint them? Then I'd probably go the wrong way again, and get screwed because I waited.....ah, my life....what a shame.

Mulletmania!

More than likely, if you see a redneck....you see a mullet. And if you see a mullet, then you're probably going to see a guy with no shirt on. Most of the time these individuals are driving a truck of some sort. Usually an 80's style pickup. This guy proves my example:

While being a redneck doesn't apply just to the male species. Women too have succumed to the inevitible force that is Redneck, and either showing off what Male Rednecks oggle over, or waving a flag over bodyparts that don't need to be seen(unless of course you are a Male Redneck). The later subject can also be seen with the redneck weapons of choice...a beer and cigarrette in the same hand.

Even Rednecks are embarrised of tattoo's from a long night of drinking many moons ago. Here, this subject show's the hairstyle to cover a tattoo of kinds....by you guessed it, a MULLET!

No mullet talk can happen without a Redneck midget:

Now for those of you wanting to grow a mullet, which I highly discourage(unless you live in Europe, ride bikes REALLY fast, or you are of course....a Redneck), I'll throw in some hints and basic rules that you'll need.

1. Decide what kind of look you are trying to achieve. “Mullet” is a broad classification of a type of hairstyle - there are a number of sub-classifications.
Is most of your time spent in business meetings or meeting clients for lunch? Think about The Business Mullet.

Do you spend a lot of time at Wal-Mart? Is your drink of choice Bud Light? Consider the Mulletino.

The Mulhawk is a classic combination of the Mullet and the Mohawk. (as seen with the midget mullet).

2. Once you’ve decided on a “style” for your mullet, head to Wal-Mart or your local pub at 11 AM to see some mullets up close and personal. Get to know the style, because it’s not just a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle.
3. While at Wal-Mart, pick up a few sleeveless t-shirts, or if you want, have a friend rip the sleeves off your t-shirt - this is best done while you’re still wearing it. Or get a wifebeater T shirt if weather permits.
4. Next, you’ll need a good pair of boots. Though you’ll be spending a lot more time barefoot, a pair of boots is going to come in handy for trips to Wal-Mart.
5. Buy an old junk Camaro to park in your driveway. Try to keep it under $600. Spend as many hours as possible drinking Bud Light with the Camaro’s hood up.
6. That’s really about it. Oh yeah, if you have short hair, begin your mullet by no longer cutting the hair on the back of your head as it grows out. This could take any where from 3 to 6 months to achieve the proper lengths. If your hair is longer - you lucky dog - grab a Bud Light and have your cousin cut the hair on the sides and top of the head short.

Of course, if you are more artistic, or have experience with a mullet already, you can create your own style of mulleting. For the newcomers, stick to the basic style mullets.
Now, if you do grow your mullet for Redneck reasons, know that riding a bicycle is off limits, and driving your pickup truck and throwing old beer cans at cyclists is kosher.

So get out there, and enjoy your mullet....no more sunburned necks, and you always have the party going on in the back!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-mYy3mCYJo

CHECK IT! LAUGH. ENJOY!

pics

This is my group on Sunday coming in. If you look to the right of the picture, behind the big sun that looks like a lady, you can see Magan and Mom worrying why I'm not there.

My TT position. Fully decked out, and full speed option on. You can also see my training wheels on the back wheel.

From the Velosimo website. I'll be saving around 53.82 watts when I drop the stem and get lower. Thats equivilant to crapping a small child...or a large cat.

Oh, how de-lightful! Thats dubious of you to say that! I bid you goodday.

I weezeled my way in this one

Road racing.....it's kinda fun....and it's kinda not fun. I did my first race in 6 months at Fayetteville. Luckily for me, the first race was 3 races in one weekend.
We started with 68 miles on Saturday. Peice of cake....had I trained on the road bike any....and not eaten all the cake. I sucked, I was happy to hang on, and need to work on riding up hills and in winds.
Then we did a 6.6 mile Time Trial. I actually did good. 14:56. Again, 40 seconds off Travis' time, who won, with a 14:15. Well, not exactly 40 seconds, but I think I slowed down too much in some of the turns. That ride put me in 11th overall. If it wasn't good enough I'd've went to waco and mountian bike raced on Sunday.
Well, lucky me, I stayed in the road race, where the guys I race(not all of them) were little whiney bitches,as Jason would put it. For example, I'd pull into an open spot in the peleton, and just because I didn't see the guy behind me who was going for the same spot, and would get an earful of "GOD DAMMIT!" or "F*CK"....more like "F**********CK!". Sorry dude, you have breaks don't you?
Then when we'd pass a big John Deere tractor pulled over, guys would yell at the group "SLOW DOWN GOD DAMMIT" and for good measure, follow it up with a "F*CK!". I noticed a pattern here, it was guys not getting there way. Like when a guy was breaking the law on the left side of the road, and he'd hear the motorcycle beeping for him to scoot over.....he wouldn't hit his breaks, or look for a spot to come in. He'd keep his spot and yell at the peleton to scoot over. HA, what an idiot.
Soooo, that is my next point. The yellow line. I got screwed again, and one day I'll have the knowledge to get unscrewed. But the officials said they'd DISQUALIFY people for crossing the edge of the world. Well, I tried my ass off not to, unless some guy came at me and was forced to avoid the accident...but was over to the right ASAP.
The final 2k, I was gapped because of the yellow line, I suffered for 94 miles to stay with the group. And this final bit where the top 5 guys were on the right, and the other 20 were on the left....and me trying to play by the rules on the right at the back.......ahhhh crap......non of those guys got penalized, and if they did, it was for 5 seconds. I lost 30 seconds to that, and ended up 19th overall.
Maybe I can talk the referees in to giving me a QUALIFY card, to dis disqualify me from another race in the future. Or it might be good for up to 5 yellow line violations? I think I can think of a good deal here.

My training will hopefully consist of some running now. Injuries suck, and I hope to be in the game again soon.

Whose the mother flippin'?.....

I'M THE MOTHER FLIPPIN'.

I hate that lady on the cell phone.....the one that talks to everyone. You know her, and I'm sure you've listened to her. I know you've listened to her, she never lets you say a word, and if you do, she won't listen. The derilict world of phone companies. Please get a phone message person that doesn't irritate people with the same phrase every time I try to make a call and get the voicemail. Bahhhh.

I took yesterday off work, to go out and get stuff done. I took two of Jason's bikes down to the shop to work on them. I love going to the shop. I get in the back, and a guy brings a Huffy in and Ken yells at me to take the wheel off of the $50 bike, while he's working on a set of $3000 wheels for a $5000 bike/work of art in the form of a Pinarello Prince. While the backup Colnago sits getting the Zipp's put on. GEESH. I did my job, and did it well.....maybe that dude with those bikes liked my work ethic???

So after the shop, I get in downtown Houston traffic to go visit the muesem of art and science. Well, I'll go in detail here to show the full effect. Huntsville, my current location, is lone wolf territory.....I think Corey Ray is the only other guy that has rode competitively here.....there is not group rides, runs, or get togethers. While Houston, an emerging hotspot for bums who ask for cheeseburgers(witnessed first hand) and cyclists, runners and many other types of peoples. So this much bigger city I'm driving through has many, MANY bad drivers. Or maybe they're all really good, and I'm the bad one....but using a blinker was a good thing....or so I thought. Add that fact, with the one that I have no idea where I'm at....or really where I'm going.....and the fact that I am very lost when it comes to direction. As you can see just getting there was a story in itself.

Moving on, to the actual Science muesem. How cool was this? I never knew it had so much usefull information. I mean, I've been there as a kid in school. But geesh, I learned about Space, dinosaurs, mummies, and saw butterflies(pictured above). The blackhole movie in the planterium was spectacular and awe inspiring. Or I was inspired by it's awe.

Then it was off to the art muesem. It was ok. I saw some cool artwork. Then I saw some stuff that I don't know how people claim to be art. But it was neat to see all the Picasso's and.....well, it was neat to see.

I'm pumped about Fayetteville....a little tired, as I've gotten up at 4AM for 3 days this week. But somehow I think it'll be good for adventure racing. Speaking of which.....

MOAT has a website up, and looks neat, check it out: www.peak.com/teammoat

I held a course record!

For 20 seconds, I held the WCCRT TT course record. For a 10k, I pulled a 14:09, a course record. I was so happy. And I literitly got 15 seconds of glory. As T-Rav started 1 minute behind me, he smoked the course, and took revenge on me taking his previous record, and came in at 13:32.
Afterwards, I spent the rest of the day sleeping on the grass in a park. A rugby guy almost hit me with his ball. That would be a bad way to wake up. Hell, it'd be a bad way to go to sleep!
Then I went and learned that I eat wayyyy to many carbs. Well, if carbs=sugar. I want to try to eat correctly, so I'll be crunching numbers to find out what all I 'need' to eat, and cut out all I 'want' to eat.
So while in the Woodlands, I went over to T-Rav's house and tinkered with my TT bike some. Got the front end looking beter than before, so it's all good.
And as soon as I started eating correctly, I ate bad. Shaun, Magan, and I went to Tortuga and ate for an hour or so. Talked the talk, and drove home.

As for Saturdays ride....I mean race that I rode in. It was tough riding the Single Speed for 60 miles. I finished right under 5 hours. I think that should seal up the deal for the Texas Marathon Championship. Yay.

I did happen so see the new Will Ferrel movie, Semi-Pro. It's ok. I think comedys nowadays try too hard. Yeah, you can get a laugh, but a forced laugh isn't the same as a ; I'll never forget this moment laugh because I cried and got a hernia from laughing so hard. So funny that people around you start laughing out loud, and people you don't even know around the back of the IHOP start laughing at you because it's so funny. Thats the kind of funny that will always be remembered by those that fought with me in Lazer tag!

If I was stuck in a battle for middle earth, I'd probably make sure this guy was on my side. He probably takes a crap that doesn't stink too. Just one more thing the girls love about him.
I finally got to race with Dave. I need to HTFU if I'm gonna race with him some more. We came out with the "W" on a very awesome course in Waco. I actually contributed to some navigation. I actually can say I didn't, I repeat DIDN'T, get us lost.
Mark apparently got his dingy all wet this weekend, and got 5th for doing so. All that went wrong was he lost a fingernail. That dingy must've been out of control!
Jason was going to win in Bar H, but flatted with 2 miles to go.
I had my business socks on, and you know what that means.....it's business time! I ended up 4th, after a shorter race of not warming up. Eh, next time I'll hopefully get a top 10 callup, instead of the back row. Maybe the leaders won't get so far ahead and I'll actually be able to race them.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/227537
This reminds me of the wind we've had at the last two races.

I had to go to the dentist yesterday. My last checkup was great, 0 cavities. But last years checkup wasn't so great. This is about the time I was eating about a pound of candy a day. To say the least, I had 7 cavities filled.
Yesterdays visit was due to the fact that this 'cavity' wasn't fully developed....or to put it plainly, the dentist didn't want to make it 8 cavities, if this little one could make it and possibly go away.
Well it didn't.
So I sit for a short visit, and get the novacaine in the deep back part of my gums. Yeah, it numbed me up, but after 15minutes of letting it set, I was bored. So the dentist came in and drilled a bit.
OWWW.
More novacaine please. So 5 more minutes, and we try it again.
OWWWWWWWW.
MORE NOVACAINE please! Let it settle, and now I have had over 10 different shot sites in my mouth.....I didn't feel the second half, but I could see the needle getting situated....then plundged deep into my mouth.
Something like this is a scary site right over your eyes:
What if he dropped it right on my face?
I think it'd be neat though, to have been going through that ordeal again, but "I wanna be sedated" some on the stereo speakers.
Now I'm just recovering from some bruising where the needle went in so many times. I kinda feel like a fresh fish prisoner that took the wrong shower. But not really. But kinda.

I'm planning a race.

not just any race. a long race. well of course it'd be a long race, since my body has the reserves for such a race. this race will consist of many miles, and many racers. i will no doubt be by myself for some of this race. well i'd have to be by myself in a race against the clock, or an individual time trail. so yeah, fayetteville here i come. jmack better be glad, and don't push me too hard when we get in a break together.....this old body of mine isn't used to the road.
between having a sprint adventure race coming up on march 1 in cameron park with the diety of adventure racing himself. and saint jo the next day. and no lago vista(yay!). i really don't see any pre road races to fayetteville in the horizon. i don't even know the last time i was on my road bike. this could be bad......this could be michael jackson bad.

now to what grinds my gears:
you know what grinds my gears? litterers. however you spell it. people that litter. litterees. what makes someone think they can throw stuff away on someone elses property? but then again, dumpsters have a fine if you put your trash in them.

Today's post will summerize what happened this weekend.
I'd first like to congratulate Tristin Uhl for winning Valley of the Sun. Good job homie.
I'd also like to thank Mom and Magan and Jason for allowing me to complete and compete in the double marathon weekend.

Marathon 1: Terlingua Mountain Bike Race. Tons of guys preregistered. Tons of guys toed the line. One guy hit my bars while lining up, and took down himself and another guy, and a bike. I made it clear of my intention there, and I haven't even begun riding. I was gonna wreck shop.
We start the easy roll out, and I'm sucking dust. I make some suave passes, to get good position, but the race hasn't even begun. We cross the road, and I'm comfortable in 15th postition or so. We are CRUISING down the first section, and dust is everywhere. I run over anything in my path, bumps, rocks, sand....and I think a homeless guys cardboard home...I think. In the singletrack, guys are in a line. I'm comfortable, so I'm content. Then as the first creek bed area comes, guys let huge gaps open and I pass about 5 guys and bridge a gap to the end of the lead group.
Everything is dandy.
The Superfly rig is Flying Superbly over all the whoops, and doops. I am settling in a very doable 4 hour pace, right behind strongman Scott Henry. The pace got a little hot, and he is gapped, I can still see the group, but Scott is still motoring, and instead of passing and riding what I should have done....I waited. A little turned into a lot.
Then out of nowhere, the guy who gets 2nd, pulls past us. Scott doesn't hang on his wheel either. He must be out of form, because he's one of the strongest guys in TX. I pull around and get on the wheel.
Now the pace this guy is pulling is rough. I can hang, but it's definitly not something I would like to do on the first lap. Nonetheless, I make it to the climb, where the lead group is only 30 seconds up. I start the climb and hit my pace. I'm doing fine, actually making a little time...very slowly.
But here is where race strategy goes to crap.
My rear tire is hooking up great. Better than normal. But I notice that on some bigger rocks I am just gliding over....but also hitting the rim.
Half way up, I see a cameraman, and ask him if my wheel is flat. "Boy is it ever!"
I pull up to where the rough stuff starts, and decide to pull out the big air. As I started out with 28 pounds of pressure....I aired it up, to what I found out was a 55 PSI.
So I start back, after losing 30 seconds or so.
About 3 minutes after that, my chain goes inbetween my spokes, and my cassette. I catch it pretty fast, and jump off to pull it out and get the chain back on the correct cassette. Dangit, 20 more seconds elapse.
I climb the rest, now out of sight of the leaders. I get passed by the guy who got 4th, and decide to ride with him after the descent.
So as I'm pulling through the start area, the only part I didn't preride. I end up having to make a U turn to go get my feed. Baahhhh.
Half way done and I'm feeling it, that guy that I was riding with was motoring! So I start the second lap, and can now see a guy 35 seconds or so ahead. So I start chasing. Loren Dodson is only 30 seconds or so behind me now too. But I wasn't gonna wait on anyone. 20 minutes of riding and I close the gap ahead. The pace feels easy. Legs are feeling queezy. My stomach is growling and the wind was howling. The race was starting!
I make the long pull to the climb, into the headwind. With a guy in tow, and sitting 6th and 7th. I see Ray Hall ahead. 5th place. My place. Who knows who was ahead of him.
I start the climb and again hit my pace. A bit slower than previous, but the guy I was with was only putting a minute tops on the climb. And I was saving myself for a nasty descent!!!
I was bouncing this time around, as the rear tire hadn't deflated at all. But Ray was literitly 10 seconds ahead. Nat Ross was coming from below and was about a minute down. I can hold him off...pass Ray...and catch the guy I rode with. PERFECT!
Then as I'm hitting a switchback....a loose one, with a steeper incline, I must've downshifted. But not into a gear. Straight in between the cassette and spokes. I immediately shift to get it to realign, but I just made is worse, as when I pedaled it got deeper in.
Some choice words were spoken at this time.
I jump off, and start working on pulling it out. More words are flying, with an even more temperment to them.
Nat appears around the corner. "good job Nat, keep it up" I say, and he cooly passes me.
OK, so now I just need to take time and stop manhandling this thing, and think my way out of it. My hand is bloody, and I'm not really wanting to break something by forcing it.
This way doesn't work, and that way doesn't work. Finally, it sets. I jump on and hit the climb. Nat is way up the road.
I am climbing faster though. And I'm ready to descend.
I see him ahead, and I'm hitting the 44-11 regular. I'm flying down the caution arrrows. I bridge the gap, and Nat looked a bit suprised. Instead of resting after a long intense effort, I go ahead and make the pass, and keep pushing. Being the smart pro he is, he sits on and as I see this I go pretty hard. Then I see a small climb ahead. POOF. Nat is around me, and goes away again. Nothing much I could do, as my legs start feeling it.
So instead of finishing a doable top 5. I end up 8th. Which is good. But it looks as though racing the Smithville course instead of an adventure race is in my midst. My time was respectable though, with 4:15:25. 10 minutes off Sagers.

Marathon 2: After driving 9 hours after the Terlingua race, we find ourselfs in Austin for the half marathon. Magan was running her first one, and I told her I'd do it too.
We show up with 90 seconds to start. PERFECT timing!
BOOM, gun goes off and we start the 13.1 mile trek. Magan said she wanted about a 10 minute pace, but I kept it around 9:40ish for the most part.
I love doing these because so many supporters are cheering and so many running styles you can look at and often laugh at. Elf was even there running!
At mile 7, I turned to Magan, who has been sick as a dog leading up to this, and said "this is as far as you've ran huh?" Turns out, 5 miles was as far as she's ever ran.
Mile 10 and we were almost there. Haven't seen Jason riding his bike yet.
Mile 11, and here is a nice steep hill ahead of us. Jason is riding and somehow spots us out of 1000's of people. He starts singing and cheering so loud, and other runners were actually getting pumped. Some girls were getting hot and bothered with him around too!
The hill was tough, the only part that Magan wanted to walk, but a couple of motivating words kept her going.
The last mile she tried picking it up. Was trying so hard, and couldn't go any faster. We ended up with a 2:05:25.

Today I rest. But I leave you one thing to ponder. How do you think a woman, working at a sperm bank, can embezle without getting pregnate?

Ah, my back hurts. And it feels like those commercials where the red light flashes. I wish I could remember the name of that medicine that went and made the red light a green light. It kinda looks like this:
Hopefully that will clear up and just be from sleeping wrong. And so my preperation for Terilingua is thrown off again by my throat starting to feel the twing. Quick thinking by popping some Emergen-C in some water, orange juice and a thought of listening to Michael Jackson's "beat it", to get rid of it.
Top 5 this weekend and I'm cutting my hair. I do like the helmet hair I have afterwards though. But with 27 registered riders so far, it looks like my chances of cutting it are slim to none.....hmmm, maybe I should tell the barber that.
"Hello, what kind of haircut do you want today?"
"Lets go with slim to none, and take it easy on the sideburns pal!"

Paper Chaser

So, can anybody tell me how to make this picture my new slogan? I want some of what Nike is getting, but in a beter package. Just do it sounds kind of abrubt, and not very fun. But:"Shhhhh, JUST GO!". Now that can hit on all kinds of levels!

So I might finally be getting paid to ride bikes....I'm actually cooking up a deal to get paid to ride! I normally don't cook too well, so we'll have to spice it up with some salt maybe. That'll be nice, since I'll be sweating a lot more salt! What a perfect world.

Amy Winehouse happened to win a grammy.....don't the drug test those people? If Landis lost his Tour title for a little HGH or whatever, Amy should lose her grammy for a little Cocaine. As well as all the football, soccer, and baseball stars. Fair but equal. Equal and fair.

Speaking of sweating. How many mexican channels do we need? While driving home from Jason's the other night, I had no IPOD, or CD. I was seeking through the channels, and often landed on mariachie music. Which is cool, but not my cup of tea. And yes, I don't even like tea!

But besides the music, one thing has been getting on my nerves a lot recently. And I'm sure I'm not the only guy to do this....I'll probably be the only one to say I do publicly...but it's funny because it's true. Well, when you're forced to use a urinal, but rather a standard toilet, I normally get these great shots in the bowl. I mean, shots that deer hunters dream of. Shots that hockey goalies can't even fathom of stopping. Shots that professional athletes take. Then as I am peaking from my pitstop, that one little squirt pops out and lands on the seat. One little dribble. I clean it up of course. But this not only happens indoors. I've been plaqued with doing the business outside, pulling down my bibshorts for a quick go. It's good, it's good, almost done....dribble, and I have a drop on my shoe.....ahhhh, almost had it!

And I'll leave it at that....Shhhhh, just go.

Why? tell me why!

Ok, heres something I bet you had happen to you.
Why is it, when you're cruising down the road on the bike(or running in Corpus Christi), on a two lane road, with light traffic. That the car passing you, instead of going into the opposite lane to get around you, stays in your lane? Is it laziness? Too tired to turn on the blinker? I guess they think Cannondale's are very replaceable since they see them in Wal-Mart nowadays.
Ok, so now tell me why is it, when you are eating a baked potato, for example, that you eat all of the goodness it has, but on the last bite, you eat the foil. THE LAST BITE! I've had this happend with popcorn, the last bite was the kernal of a fully popped bucket. Or an apple, the last bite was the rotten part of a garden of edan apple.
I'm just glad you don't have that with women. Everything is great until the last....not bite, but instert a more postive, non sexist word....and then it is sour.

Riding was great yesterday, the cranks weren't faster, but then again, I didn't really try to hard. About a 7 on the precieved excertion scale. Normally I'm at 8.5. And I still went under a minute faster than what is a fast time.

How would I stack it up in a Triathlon is the big question. Triathletes are jack's of all trades. Well, I'd lose the swim. Do well on the bike. And try to hold on the run. So triathletes are beter than me. But take the same guy, throw him into an obsticle course style race, and I'd Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Dave Boyd, American Gladiator, Ninja Warrior, DMX, Ja Rule, Diesel all in one, flip, flop, fly, frog hop and whatever else I needed, to get through it faster. Now I just Jacked there trade!

Is New York having good riding weather? It doesn't matter, they're still Superbowl champs.

Argyle

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/plaid

I think this was Jonathan Vaughters idea for getting argyle on the team kits for Slipstream/Chipolte. And getting the brit, David Millar....that was from the line, "you spell honor like a brit!"

Finally good weather will permit me to go out and test a new secret crankset on my TT bike. Results will hopefully give me at least 2 minutes on a 40 km course!